DUTKA, Betty Elaine Dutka (Breimon)

that we announce the recent passing of Betty Dutka (nee Briemon), mother, grandmother and great-grandmother.
Betty was born April 10th, 1936 in the depths of the Great Depression. She was the fourth of ten children (Laurina, Fern, Dolores, Islay, Bobby, Judy, Gerry, Lenny, and Wendy) and was raised first in Drumheller and then in Calgary (1951).
The domestic burdens of a large family instilled in Betty a strong sense of selfless duty. Growing up very poor inculcated in her a sensitivity to the plight of the disadvantaged. These were traits and strengths that never left her.
While her family’s home was little blessed with material comforts, it was visited by an abundance of love, laughter, and an appreciation of all types of music. Betty learned vocal harmony and guitar from her older sisters and, until she was married, got great pleasure from singing with them in a variety of acts. Everything from the Andrew Sisters to Hawaiian folk songs.
Betty married Jerry Dutka in 1954. In 1956 her first son Ken was born. In 1958 her second son and last child Andy was born.
Despite having only two children, Betty’s was not a nuclear family. Nor was Betty a traditional wife. Betty and Jerry parented several other children, some of whom they literally rescued from the street. As well, they shared their home with a number of their nieces, nephews and relatives. All of them they treated and cared for as if they were her own, and all of them gave equal joy to Betty.
Betty was born to be a mother. She had a true gift for it. She instilled in her children a lifelong love of reading, learning, and a hunger for academic achievement. Their home was a magnet for all the neighbourhood children. Evening football games in the front yard. Basketball games in the back yard. Sleepovers, and then later, parties, keggers and ear-bleeding music jams, in the basement.
While fun, freedom, and curiosity were encouraged, rule adherence, sharing, and work at home in Jerry’s businesses were expected.
Even with these extra parenting duties, Betty reveled in the new freedoms that women were accorded in the 1960’s. She was amongst the first of her friends to get a driver’s license, and definitely the first to start her own business.
Betty and Jerry were affluent enough that work was not a necessity for her. However, she carved out her dream career. Betty had a series of companies that employed her and dozens of women in high-end branding campaigns and retail sales of luxury accessories. She continued this work until her early eighties. She was always on time, on message, and impeccably turned out.
All of this occurred despite Betty having to confront and conquer multiple bouts of a variety of cancers. She was first diagnosed with breast cancer in the mid-1960’s. For the next half century, she battled against another five recurrences. Yet, with the obvious exception of having lost an eye to the disease, many of her friends, colleagues, and relatives were unaware of her surgeries and treatments. Nary a homework assignment, football practice, or work event was missed.
Betty drew strength from her relationship with her siblings, relatives, friends, and children. This was especially true when Ken married Joanne and soon after, had Betty’s grandchildren, John, Peter, and Alex. Betty was energized by the joy of a new family. Despite the distance from Alberta to Ontario, she visited them frequently. Some of her happiest moments were the road-trips she took with Ken, Joanne, and the boys. As well as the cruises she went on with them, and at other times, with Joanne and Audrey.
When her daughter-in-law Joanne became ill, Betty dropped everything to become a support in the boys’ lives.
Sadly, in addition to her health issues, other life reverses piled up as the years unfolded: the separation with Jerry, the passing of Joanne followed by Andy, and the loss of her sight. Yet, through it all, she rarely complained. Instead, she focused her attention and energy on her friends, siblings, Ken, her grandchildren, and her niece Kim whom she loved like a daughter.
In her last years, Betty absolutely delighted in the birth and lives of her great-grandchildren, Audrey, Zelda, Ellie, and Marcus.
Betty was fiercely independent. She proudly lived on her own, running her businesses despite her health issues. It was only after Andy passed and then a hip replacement, that she moved to Ontario to be closer to Ken and her family. While she appreciated their assistance, she parried all efforts to steer her towards assisted living, preferring to maintain her own household until it became patently unrealistic.
It is said that adversity does not forge character, but instead only reveals it. Despite almost biblical challenges, Betty remained at core the person she was growing up in Alberta. She was a kind, compassionate person, who asked very little from the world and gave as much of herself as she could to it.
She will be missed by many.
There will be a small informal remembrance at Ken’s home on July 12th. Details for same shall be provided later this week.
Donations, if thought appropriate, can be made to Joanne’s House (Durham Youth Services).

BARNES MEMORIAL FUNERAL HOME