Losing someone close to you is one of life’s most difficult experiences, and if a friend of yours is going through this kind of pain, it can be hard to know exactly how to help. I’ve found that offering support doesn’t always require grand gestures. Often, it’s the simple, thoughtful things that mean the most. In this post, I want to share some of the ways that have helped me support friends who are grieving. I hope this can serve as a guide if you’re trying to be there for someone in their time of need.

At Canadian Obituaries, we share a lot of stories about loss and remembrance, and while we can’t bring people back, we can make the journey through grief a little easier by showing up for each other.

The Struggle of Supporting a Grieving Friend

Grief is complicated. There’s no set timeline for it, and no perfect way to handle it. As someone who has been both a grieving person and a friend trying to support someone in pain, I know that it’s often more about just showing up than about having the “right words.” Sometimes, it’s about being a quiet presence, letting someone express themselves, and offering help where they need it most.

1. Listen Without Judgment

One of the best things you can do is listen. When someone is grieving, they often need a safe space to express their feelings, whether that’s talking about their loved one or sharing how they’re feeling in the moment. Don’t feel the need to jump in with advice or to try to fix things. Just listen. Sometimes, the best way to help is to offer a compassionate ear without offering solutions. You don’t have to have all the answers—just be present.

2. Offer Practical Help

I’ve learned that grief can make even the most basic tasks feel overwhelming. Cooking meals, doing laundry, or picking up groceries might feel like too much for someone who is mourning. Offering to take care of these little things can be a huge relief for a grieving person. Even something as simple as running errands for them or taking care of a household chore can give them one less thing to worry about. It shows you care and are there to support them in tangible ways.

3. Be Patient—Grief Doesn’t Have a Deadline

The thing about grief is that it doesn’t go away after the funeral or memorial service. It’s easy for people to expect that life will go back to normal quickly, but in my experience, the process of mourning can take months, even years. Be patient with your friend, and keep checking in long after others may have stopped offering support. Even if it feels like things are quieter, your continued presence will mean a lot.

4. Avoid Clichés—Offer Real Comfort Instead

I know it’s tempting to offer comforting phrases like “They’re in a better place” or “Everything happens for a reason,” but in my experience, these can come across as dismissive. I’ve found that it’s better to acknowledge the pain your friend is feeling rather than trying to explain it away. Phrases like “I can’t imagine how hard this is” or “I’m so sorry you’re going through this” can be more comforting, as they validate the grief without trying to minimize it. Sometimes, just letting them know you're there is the most helpful thing.

5. Remember Important Dates

Even after the funeral, anniversaries, birthdays, and other special dates can hit hard for someone who’s grieving. I’ve always found that remembering these dates—whether it's the deceased’s birthday or the anniversary of their passing—can make a big difference. A simple text or call to let your friend know you're thinking of them shows that you care and that their grief hasn’t been forgotten. It's a thoughtful way to remind them that you're still there, even when the world has moved on.

How to Be a True Support System for Your Grieving Friend

Being there for someone in their grief is all about consistency and compassion. It doesn’t require grand gestures or perfect words, but it does require showing up when it counts. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is ask your friend how they’re feeling and what they need. Sometimes, they might not know—but the fact that you’re checking in regularly shows that you care.

At Canadian Obituaries, we understand how difficult it is to cope with the loss of a loved one. I hope that these tips help you feel more equipped to be the support your grieving friend needs. Remember, grief is a journey, and your ongoing care can make a world of difference.